Post by Alex Vipond on Nov 18, 2014 17:16:08 GMT -8
How to make Fuckin' Nog (resurrected from an ancient edition of the Joy of Cooking from back before people cared about obesity, diabetes, cholesterol, and Comic Sans)
I. Buy this stuff:
• 12 eggs
• 1 pound confectioner’s sugar
• 6 cups dark rum, whiskey or brandy (protip: use brandy)
• 8 cups heavy cream
• fresh grated nutmeg
II. Do this to the stuff you bought:
1. Separate your fuckin' egg yolks from the whites. Youtube this shit if you don't know how.
2. Beat egg yolks until light in color. Gradually beat in the confectioner’s sugar. Add 2 cups rum very slowly, beating constantly. Let mixture stand covered for 1 hour to dispel the “eggy” taste
3. Add remaining rum and whipping cream, beating constantly.
4. Refrigerate covered for 3 hours.
5. Beat egg whites until stiff but not dry. Fold egg whites lightly into the other ingredients. Serve sprinkled with fresh nutmeg
III. Die happy
Important Fuckin' Nog notes
• Skip the egg whites bit of step 5 and use them to make almond macaroons for the world's best grandma. If you want to do something like macaroons or merengue it's v important not to get any yolks in the whites, so be sure to separate each egg over an empty bowl and then deposit successful eggwhites into another container.
• Use brandy instead of rum (feel free to experiment with dark/spiced rum and non-sourmash whiskeys but trust me, brandy is best).
• Age in the fridge for 3+ weeks for optimal nogginess, shaking daily for the first week or so.
• Try to find "Heavy Cream" not "Heavy Whipping Cream" since "Whipping Cream" has shit added to it to thicken it up which can make for excessively heavy Fuckin' Nog
• If you're worried about salmonella, you can get pasteurized eggs in the shells which work just fine!
• 6 cups of booze is almost a full 1.75L bottle, so round that shit up
• Full recipe will fill 2 1.75L bottles, plus a bit for you to drink immediately for quality control purposes
I. Buy this stuff:
• 12 eggs
• 1 pound confectioner’s sugar
• 6 cups dark rum, whiskey or brandy (protip: use brandy)
• 8 cups heavy cream
• fresh grated nutmeg
II. Do this to the stuff you bought:
1. Separate your fuckin' egg yolks from the whites. Youtube this shit if you don't know how.
2. Beat egg yolks until light in color. Gradually beat in the confectioner’s sugar. Add 2 cups rum very slowly, beating constantly. Let mixture stand covered for 1 hour to dispel the “eggy” taste
3. Add remaining rum and whipping cream, beating constantly.
4. Refrigerate covered for 3 hours.
5. Beat egg whites until stiff but not dry. Fold egg whites lightly into the other ingredients. Serve sprinkled with fresh nutmeg
III. Die happy
Important Fuckin' Nog notes
• Skip the egg whites bit of step 5 and use them to make almond macaroons for the world's best grandma. If you want to do something like macaroons or merengue it's v important not to get any yolks in the whites, so be sure to separate each egg over an empty bowl and then deposit successful eggwhites into another container.
• Use brandy instead of rum (feel free to experiment with dark/spiced rum and non-sourmash whiskeys but trust me, brandy is best).
• Age in the fridge for 3+ weeks for optimal nogginess, shaking daily for the first week or so.
• Try to find "Heavy Cream" not "Heavy Whipping Cream" since "Whipping Cream" has shit added to it to thicken it up which can make for excessively heavy Fuckin' Nog
• If you're worried about salmonella, you can get pasteurized eggs in the shells which work just fine!
• 6 cups of booze is almost a full 1.75L bottle, so round that shit up
• Full recipe will fill 2 1.75L bottles, plus a bit for you to drink immediately for quality control purposes