Post by Deleted on Jan 4, 2014 13:08:02 GMT -8
When TC got home, he'd find a note in an envelope for him.
My dearest TC...
What can I say. I don't know where this is suddenly coming from but I know that its something I have to do. Otherwise, it will just turn into one big ugly thing and I don't want that for us. In fact... there are a lot of things I want and perhaps that is the problem. For the last seven months, you have been there for me in all the ways a girl could ever want or need. Except one. You've been my rock.. my confidant.. my friend.. my lover. But I want something more, something more that I know I can't have. I know this because I see it in your eyes. I see the fear. I don't want to be the reason you aren't comfortable. I don't want to be the one thing in your life that is complicated. I don't want to be a burden or a bad memory. And so since I can't stop what it is I feel... I can stop it from making you unhappy. I want what's best for us. For you. That is how much I care about you. And while it hurts me to walk away now, after so long... prolonging it would only make matters worse.
I'm sure you know how I feel about you and what I feel for you and so I'll not say it. Just know its the reason I'm leaving. I can't ever put into words what you've done for me. You've mended me in ways I didn't know were needed and while I may not be fully ever recover... its not fair to you to continue to take on that role. That role should be for someone who is willing and wanting of it. Freely. Without obligation. A role for someone who can love me and who I can love back. And so since I can't do that with you...perhaps this is best. I decided to write this note simply because I wanted to avoid that awkwardness I always get when this sort of thing comes up. Because then I would only cry, like I am now, you would ask me to stay, hold me... and all for what? Its not fair to you.
I don't know who she was or what she did since we never talked about her, but I know she had a great man in you and she was stupid for ever doing whatever she did because now? Now she some how still manages to rule over you. To decide for you. To deny you happiness then and happiness now. Maybe even forever. She denies you the chance to over come your fear with me or any other woman who may get close. TC... I hope that some day you can be happy. That some day you can be comfortable. Even if it isn't with me.
I've decided to return home. I'll be there for a few days. I think I got everything that is mine and if not... you can have Mason bring it by. After that, I am thinking of going back home to Georgia for a while. To make things easier for you. Out of sight, out of mind right? TC... I'm sorry. I'm sorry for wanting more. I'm sorry I couldn't be who you want or need. I'm sorry it had to come to this. I'm sorry for making things complicated for you and I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable.
Love,
Eternally Grateful,
Abby